I turned to Curt the other night and said "I am happy." He isn't a man of many words, but I knew his "hmmhm" was heartfelt.
It's been a year now. A year ago in March, we met the two girls we'd made a pledge to. The school age sisters who'd lived in at least six different homes in their lives. The two kids who asked if they could call us mom and dad the first day, we said no.
Curt and I agreed that if we decided to meet these girls, we had to have made the decision in our hearts to claim them. We talked it over with family, friends, our sons, counselors, social workers, and God. We pondered the implications, the fears, and what adopting meant to
| our marriage. We read psychological studies about the kinds of behaviors kids with their background might bring to our home. We talked to other families who'd adopted children with similar histories. We talked to an attorney about protecting | |
ourselves from unfounded accusations. We read more books. We warned our famillies about what we'd learned. We heard about some horrifying experiences. We wanted to be informed, we wanted to approach this decision with our eyes wide open, we wanted to be able to claim these children and never look back. Scared? Yes. Willing? Yes. Able? Not without help.
One year later, we finalized the adoption in an almost boring court ceremony on January 23, 2003. Crystal, a tall, chatterbox of an 11 year-old, and Bobbie Jean, her athletic 9 year-old sister are now our 3rd and 4th children and only daughters. Their brothers are 22 and 20 and are not sure | what to do with these vivacious, energetic new sisters, but they are willing to learn. Our learning curve in becoming a family has been so very steep at times; it almost felt like we would topple over.
Thanks to the support system we developed before we claimed the girls (before we even met them); we were able to make it through the rought spots. Thanks to the supportive state and county social workers who were more concerned about helping us make this placement the last, than about if our medicines were in a locked cabinet or not. Thanks to the Infant of Prague for directing us to post adoption services and workshops on attachment. Thanks to professional and caring family counseling on a weekly basis.
| Thanks to our church, our employer, and our families, we now, a year later; are feeling the ties that bind grow stronger.
I am not surewe would have made it this far if we hadn't claimed these two |
as our own. I am not sure I would have felt the fulfillment of tucking their sweet sleepy souls into bed tonight if we hadn't promised these children with the difficult past, that if they wanted us, we would remain loyal to the end. But tonight, as I write this article for the Infant of Prague newsletter, I can honestly say we have claimed each other. Now, perhaps like the time-honored tradition of an arranged marriage, we are enjoying the process of learning to love one another.
We hope other families will take a chance with older children, the need is tremendous and the support is available ... if you claim it. |
